Burnt to Hell
by a-rod48
Summary: Things go badly for the crew of Voyager as they experiment on an odd galactic constant. Why can no one on Voyager (not even the ship's computer) manage to NOT burn a pot roast?
1. Chapter 1: The Discovery

**Hello! Just an FYI before we start, this takes place shortly after the events of 'Endgame' in Admiral Janeway's timeline (The one where they just pass the nebula) Enjoy!**

_Captain's Log Stardate 55004.7: I find myself thinking about the phrase "Curiosity killed the cat." The Federation's curiosity has rarely led us astray. Today, however; with 5 crewmembers dead, Voyager severely crippled and in Borg control, Q injured, and a 15km long hole torn in reality itself, I think some questions should go unanswered. On the bright side, that same curiosity has stopped the Borg throughout the galaxy in their tracks and sent the Q continuum into a frenzy._

* * *

**One Week Earlier**

"...So I told that Kelarian ambassador exactly where he could put his 'peace offering'." Captain Janeway said as she and Commander Chakotay walked toward the mess hall.

"So, what does Crewman Chell have planned for the crew today? Hopefully not more of his chili. I thought Neelix's food could leave you with a stomach ache."

"I know what you mean Chakotay, but don't call The Doctor yet, I heard Chell is making a good old fashioned pot roast. I hope his go better than mine do, no matter how hard I try, mine always turn out as black bricks."

"Hmm, same here, even if I replicate some. In fact, have you even had pot roast since we got stranded here?"

"I don't think I have..." The two walked into the mess hall to see a very distraught Bolian behind the kitchen counter. "What's the matter crewman?"

"Captain! I uhhh, well... I was preparing dinner and a power surge went through one of the kitchen's EPS conduits and burnt all of the pot roast I had cooking."

"Really? Commander Chakotay and I were just discussing the fact that between the two of us we have never successfully prepared a pot roast aboard Voyager. Have you?"

"Uhh, no Captain, I have tried a few times in the past."

"I doubt this is a coincidence." Chakotay mused. "Computer, how many times has pot roast been requested of the ship's replicators since we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant?"

_"The specified dish has been requested 592 times since Stardate 48315."_

Janeway saw where her First Officer was going with this. "Of those, how many have been followed by maintenance requests for those specific replicators? "

_"592"_

* * *

**And so our story begins. I promise you, every time pot roast was mentioned in the show, it was SOMEHOW burnt.**


	2. Chapter 2: Ion Storms

Chief Security Officer was a demanding job, one to be taken very seriously. That is probably part of the reason Tuvok was so good at it. This was also the reason why Captain Janeway asked him to conduct a survey of the crew to see who, if anyone, had successfully prepared a pot roast over the past seven years. Anyone else asking wouldn't be taken seriously at all.

"No sir, I don't believe I have."

"I am such a clumsy cook, the one time I did I left it on too long."

"What's pot roast?"

"The first time the turbulence from a tachyon eddy knocked olive oil into the pan, catching it on fire. The second time it was incinerated by a stray disruptor blast during the Kazon's takeover of the ship."

Every crewmember interviewed told the same story, pot roast always ends up burnt, liquefied, incinerated, or (in one case) lost in a temporal void.

"It defies all logic Captain."

"I'm inclined to agree with you, Tuvok. Something is amiss here, and we are going to get to the bottom of it." She tapped the badge on her chest. "All Senior Officers please report to the bridge."

One by one, the senior staff filed into the briefing room. Chakotay, Harry, The Doctor, Seven of Nine, Tom, B'Elanna, Miral..

"I'm sorry Captain, It was my turn to watch her while Tom was on his duty shift, I couldn't find a babysitter with 5 minutes notice..."

"That's alright B'Elanna, but next time, please have a backup plan." Janeway turned her attention to the matter at hand. "I'm certain all of you are wondering why I had Tuvok ask you about pot roast."

"I figured Tuvok was just looking for recipes..." Tom's sarcastic comment was met with Tuvok's usual glare.

"My survey has found that out of 1,242 attempts at making the dish, via traditional means or by replicator. Not one has ended in success." Tuvok noted.

"That is a curious statistic." Seven said.

"Indeed, too much so to be coincidence."

"I agree with Tuvok, something has to be going on. So my next request of you all is probably the strangest I have ever made in all of my Starfleet career. I need you to investigate our pot roast problem.

* * *

**Test 1**

Cargo bay 3 was turned into a makeshift galley, with all of the cooking tools necessary to make the elusive dish.

"Remind me, B'Elanna, why I am the one doing this? I am a doctor, not a gourmet chef."

"You're a hologram, we need someone that can cook it the same way each time. Now, I have three stations set up for you. One control roast hooked to the ship's power supply. A second with an independent power supply with thrice-redundant surge protection, and a third with the same setup as the second, in case number two fails, somehow."

It was a slow go, The Doctor took his time to make sure no mistakes were made. Just as the timer was about done, the ship rocked violently. A surge of energy turned the control roast into ash.

_Bridge to Torres, take a repair team to deck 12 section 2, we need Deflector Control back online._

"What's happening Captain?"

_A sudden Ion storm appeared out of nowhere and a plasma bolt struck the deflector dish. We can't take another hit like that without the deflector to absorb it._

"On my way."

"What am I supposed to do."

"Stay here and keep an eye on the test, Doctor." She said as she exited the cargo bay. The instant the doors shut, another plasma bolt grazed the port side of the ship, breaching a conduit. Plasma fire started to consume the cargo bay.

"Doctor to Bridge. Emergency transport! Get me out of here!" He dematerialized just in time. The flames consumed the spot where he once stood, and the two cooking stations in front of it.


	3. Notice

**Hello! Thank you for taking the time to read my stuff, I really appreciate it, and you for it.**

**Now, unfortunately for the time being this story will be put on hold. I have gotten into the bad habit of starting stories without finishing others, so now I have about 5 different stories going right now. I feel like I can't give each the attention it deserves like this, so I am going to start focusing on them one at a time. I am not sure when I will get back to this story, but I will get back to it. **

**Thank you for understanding.**

**-a-rod48**


End file.
